Tuesday, October 6, 2009

And now for something completely different...

WORLD ECONOMIC SYSTEMS

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Yours neighbors pick somone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other one and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. In triplicate.

ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors take the cows and kill you.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A Teacher's Credo

We the willing,

Led by the unknowing,

Are doing the impossible

For the ungrateful.

We have done so much with so little for so long,

We are now capable

Of doing EVERYTHING

With NOTHING.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

New Year, New Sked.

Well, the AB schedule is upon us now at UCHS. Yesterday was our first day back, A-Day (a.k.a. "Purple Day"--Monday will be B-Day, or "Gold Day"--everyone following? :]) and I have to admit, it went pretty well. Let's see how many of my seniors are prepared with their essay draft when I see them again on Tuesday....

Here's the rundown for my year:

A-Day Schedule

1st block--Planning
2nd block--12th II British Literature
3rd block--12th III AP Language & Comp.
4th block--12th II British Literature

B-Day Schedule

1st block--Literacy Center
2nd block--9th III Pre-AP Literature/Comp.
3rd block--Planning
4th block--12 III AP Language & Comp.

A total of about 95 kids. Wish me luck with all the essay grading! :-?